Horse Training Tips – Respect

Dear Friend and Horseman,

Welcome to another Horse Training Tips Insider.

This particular issue is probably one of the most important ones I’ve ever written. Because the message here is so critical, I hope you read it a couple times over.

Okay, let’s get started.

Does your horse have any of these bad behavior problems?

  • Bucking
  • Rearing
  • Kicking
  • Biting
  • Barn sour or refuses to leave other horses
  • Runs over the top of you
  • Pushes you around and won’t behave
  • Bad manners and general lack of respect
  • Takes off with you for no reason
  • Balks and refuses to go forward
  • Out of control or no control at all
  • Stiff, heavy and hard in the mouth
  • Won’t stop, turn or go where you want

If your horse has any of the problems listed above or is just difficult to train in general, then the following information may be just what you’re looking for.

You see, in most cases, what every single one of these behavior problems have in common is their ROOT CAUSE is the horse’s lack of RESPECT for the people who ride and handle them.

Gain the horse’s respect and the bad behavior problems automatically go away.

Keep in mind though, occasionally there are horses who are the EXCEPTION to the rule.

Those horses may have other issues which are triggering the bad behavior. Pain, fear or psychological issues can definitely be a contributing factor.

So can a rider/handler who isn’t dealing with the horse’s situation the right way.

Some folks unknowingly PERPETUATE their horse’s bad behavior because they’ve never been taught an alternative way of doing things.

As a horse owner, this type of behavior can be hard to figure out. That’s because its kind of like a “catch 22″ situation.

The horse misbehaves because he doesn’t respect you. And he doesn’t respect you because you can’t control him. And you can’t control him because he weighs 1000 pounds and is misbehaving.

It’s a vicious circle and a tough combination to deal with if you don’t know how to handle it.

Many people believe, if they just LOVE their horse more and provide everything he needs and give him treats to show him they love him… the horse will return that love by being well behaved.

Unfortunately, horses aren’t emotionally wired that way. It’s simply not in their nature.

Let me make this perfectly clear…

You won’t have any luck building a good relationship with a horse that doesn’t respect you.

Because this concept is so important, I’ve addressed it below. My goal is to try to give you a better understanding of “respect” issues and what to do about it.

Many novice horse owners hope they can get their horse to stop the dangerous behavior by letting him have his own way… by feeding him “treats”… and hoping the horse will reciprocate the good intentions.

They quickly discover this doesn’t work… and in many cases, makes the problem worse.

In the beginning stages, many horse owners aren’t even aware that their horse is being disrespectful toward them. They have a hard time recognizing it. That’s because this behavior starts out very subtly and gradually gets worse over time.

This “respect” thing is a natural part of a horse’s instinct and is related to dominant or submissive behavior when relating to other animals.

In a herd of horses, every member has his place in the pecking order. The top horse is dominant over all the other horses. And, the horse at the bottom is submissive to all the other horses in the herd.

The dominant horses have the respect of the submissive horses and always get their own way. The submissive horses get no respect from the dominant horses and are always being pushed around.

The horses in the middle will be dominant to certain members and submissive to others. It’s the natural way of the horse. In all relationships, in all encounters with others, a horse will be either dominant or submissive.

How does a horse become dominant?

He becomes the dominate horse if he can CONTROL the other horse and MAKE HIM MOVE out of his way. If he can control the other horse, he in affect, becomes the submissive horse’s leader.

A dominant horse will be the one who kicks or bites any horse who crowds him or invades his space.

He will also exhibit his dominance by crowding, pushing or invading the space of other horses. He’s exerting his control.

Read the paragraphs above again. They are key.

Now, it’s not always the biggest or physically strongest horse who is dominant. Sometimes its a small horse. But it is always a horse that is willing to “impose his will” that wins dominance over the other horses.

When I was a kid, I had a little 14 hand tall palomino stallion. He ran with all the other horses out in the pasture. Even though he was the smallest horse of the bunch, he ruled over every single horse in the herd.

Why? How? Because he really wanted to and was willing to fight for it.

You see, he had the willingness to exert his will and let the other horses know what he would not tolerate.

He certainly wasn’t the strongest horse in the herd. But he was the one who, “in the blink of an eye”, would turn and kick any other horse that tried to push him around.

Now, the vast majority of horses prefer not to fight.

They are timid by nature. They may put on a good bluff but when their bluff is called, they back right down. So, any horse that exhibits even a little bit of aggressiveness is usually the winner.

Okay, so how does all of this relate to you and your horse’s behavior problems?

Well, like it or not, the horse sees his relationship with YOU the same way he sees it with another horse.

One of you is going to be dominant and the other is going to be submissive. Naturally, the horse would like to be the one who is dominant. He wants to be the one calling the shots.

Now, if the horse insists on getting his own way and you don’t correct him, you are in for trouble. He’ll get bolder and bolder and that’s when the behavior problems start.

Be aware, bad behavior doesn’t happen over night. It comes on little by little.

To have a good relationship with your horse, you have to be the dominant partner in the relationship. You have to make sure the horse sees you as his leader. This is what wins his respect, trust, and willingness to please you.

How do you go about this? Well, there are several different methods to get this done but in reality there is a definite “right way” and a definite “wrong way” to go about it.

One way is to just do what another horse would do out in the pasture — turn around and “whomp the bejeezus out of the horse whenever he does something wrong.

This will gain his respect… and it will get him to mind you.

However, there is more to it than that.

There are usually other ways of dealing with this type of problem. (Of course, with really bad or dangerous horses, a GOOD, HARD SPANKING is a lot better than doing nothing at all).

Usually, thoroughly teaching a horse to move out of your space will go a long way in gaining his respect.

Ground exercises of moving the individual parts of the horse’s body works great.

So does simply training the horse to RIDE better… teaching him to respond better to your hands and legs.

On the other side of that coin, trying to “pet” the horse into respecting you definitely won’t work. Feeding him cookie treats won’t do it either. You have probably already tried both and found they only make the horse worse.

Gaining your horse’s respect and trust requires the proper balance of training, discipline and rewarding the horse’s willingness to try for you.

Read the above line again.

Knowing how to do this is the key to transforming your problem horse into a dream horse. The kind of horse you have always wanted. It’s also the key to maintaining a good relationship with your horse. Keeping a good horse good.

I just can’t emphasize this “respect and trust” enough. Without it, you just don’t have a good horse. You’ll have hell training him. And you’ll have hell handling him.

The techniques used to gain a horse’s respect and trust are not complicated or difficult to learn. Just about anybody can do it if they know what to do.

To achieve good results, a horseman needs to know what training methods to use, HOW to apply those methods and WHY those methods are appropriate.

Below are a few questions that were sent in by my subscribers. If you pay close attention, you will notice a common theme.

You may notice that a couple of my answers are a little, shall we say, BLUNT. Well, what can I say. Sometimes I just have to say what needs to be said.


I’m working a filly who was abused and is very dominant towards people. I have worked many ground hours with her and she has joined up, if I may say so, quite well.

She saddles fine and is very supple. I have been walking and trotting in arena doing circles. Today as I trotted around in a semi-small circle, she stopped and reared.

After she reared I asked for a trot again and exaggerated my posture forward. When I could feel her begin to stop and rear again, I would round my back more and lean further back.

How to correct and am I doing the right thing. I thank you.


My answer:

Hi D.A.
I wouldn’t worry about your posture when the horse rears. I’d be more concerned with knowing WHY she reared in the first place. There is always a reason for bad behavior.

Knowing “why” is the key to permanently fixing the problem.

Usually, a horse rears as a result of balking or refusing to go forward. And is usually a sign of disrespect toward the rider or a lack of discipline.

In your email you said this mare is very dominant toward people… well, there you go. You need to change that. She needs to learn to respect people, not dominate them.

By the way, I don’t buy the “she was abused” theory. If that was true, she would be afraid of people, not pushing them around.

I also don’t believe that the mare “all of a sudden” just started rearing. This has been coming on for a while, you just haven’t recognized the warning signs.

Now, the other possible reason for a horse rearing is when the rider has a death-grip on the horse’s mouth, so make sure the reins are loose.

You can counter the rearing by going forward.

A horse can’t rear if he is moving ahead. When she begins to stop to rear, make sure the bit isn’t restricting her and then spank her butt to make her go. Don’t be timid with this, get her going.

Take care,

Larry Trocha
Larry Trocha Training Stable


I have never had so many problems with my horse since he got gelded.

Now every time I ride him he bucks for like 10 minutes and I thought that gelding was suppose to mellow a horse out and I am having lots of problems.

He doesn’t respect me anymore, and I really miss our bond.

He was awesome before and now it seems like he don’t trust me once the saddle is on his back. Its hell.

I haven’t fallen off yet but he’s going to over power me one of these days.

Now when I lead him he rears but I don’t want to send him to a trainer that’s going to beat on him. So what should I do?


My Answer:

Hi Connie,

Let me see if I’ve got this right.

You say your horse has no respect for you.

You say he is getting to be dangerous to handle.

You say you know it’s just a matter of time before he hurts you.

Then you say, in spite of him being extremely dangerous, you don’t want to discipline him. Hmmmmmm…

That makes absolutely NO sense!

You talk about how your horse doesn’t “TRUST” you any more. Well, since you don’t beat on him and only show him loving kindness… Why would he lose his trust in you?

Here’s the answer:

He never lost his trust in the first place. He only lost his RESPECT for you.

You haven’t learned enough about horse nature to know the difference.

Connie, here is my question to you.

What could you possibly do that would MOTIVATE your horse to behave?

My guess is, you already tried feeding him treats as a bribe… and found it doesn’t work.

Horses like this really don’t care if they hurt you.

This horse is having a great time pushing you around and using you for his personal entertainment. He’s having fun doing this, what motivation does he have to stop?

Connie, it’s time to get real here before you get seriously injured.

First of all, gelding him had nothing to do with the way he is acting.

This behavior has been building for a while (it’s probably the real reason why you had him gelded in the first place). But his behavior now is so bad you’re scared.

The bald face truth is that you need to make “bad behavior” uncomfortable for your horse or he’ll only get worse.

The consequence for not taking the appropriate action is a trip to the hospital emergency room or worse. Plenty of people have been killed from being struck by a rearing horse.

Larry Trocha
Larry Trocha Training Stable

SIDE NOTE: According to the latest statistics, from the American Horse Council in Washington D.C., approximately 80,000 people each year are taken to the hospital emergency room because of horse related injuries? After reading this issue of the newsletter, are you at all surprised?


Hi Larry,
I have been receiving your emails and I was wondering if you could give me some advice.

I have a 6 year old gelding who was only broken in the summer of last year. Its a very slow process. My main problem with him is that he tries to bully me.

He rears and tries to scare me, when we are going forward he would stop and refuse to go on. he is making me very nervous. HELP

Susanne Stafford

My Answer:

Hi Susanne,
Your problem is a common one.

I’m impressed that you recognize what your horse is doing to you. Many riders seem to never have a clue.

Anyway, the root of your horse’s belligerent attitude is that he doesn’t respect you.

He’s testing your authority. He sees no reason why he should cooperate. After all, nothing unpleasant is happening to him for exhibiting his bad behavior.

You need to get him to understand that you expect him to be good. And he needs to understand there is an uncomfortable price to pay for bullying you around.

First, you need to make him behave and do exactly what you want on the ground. If he gives you any attitude or refuses to try, discipline him.

Once he has respect for your authority on the ground, it will be much easier to get him to do what you want when you are on his back.

Take care and good luck to you.

Larry Trocha
Larry Trocha Training Stable

My Comments:

There are several more emails I’d like to address here.

One is from a 14 year old girl who’s mare kicks her on a regular basis (great kids horse, huh).

Another is from a guy who’s horse is gate sour and won’t leave the company of other horses either. When he tries to press the issue, his horse starts rearing, lunging and bucking.

A third question is from a lady who’s horse won’t respond to her leg cues and viciously kicks at her spur.

Her horse also runs backwards when she tries to get him to go forward. And when leading him, he pins his ears and gives her threatening looks like he’s going to bite her.

The truth is, the VAST MAJORITY of these bad behavior problems are simply a symptom of the horse’s lack of respect for his rider.

Gain the horse’s respect and the problem automatically goes away.

Keep in mind though, occasionally there are horses who are the EXCEPTION to the rule.

Those horses may have other issues which are triggering the bad behavior. Pain, fear or psychological issues can definitely be a contributing factor.

So can a rider/handler who isn’t dealing with the horse’s situation the right way.

Some folks unknowingly PERPETUATE their horse’s bad behavior because they’ve never been taught an alternative way of doing things.

Because these types of problems are so wide-spread, I decided to create a horse training video course that offers a solution.

Actually, the videos address TWO IMPORTANT ISSUES:

#1. Correct horsemanship practices.
#2. How to fix behavior problems, like bucking, rearing, biting, kicking and spooking.

Check it out below.

Would you like to be a better horseman? Want to know how to fix horses that buck, rear, bite, kick and spook?

Training horses that buck, rear, bite and kick

Groom, Saddle, Ride & Fix
Bad Behavior

By reining and cutting horse trainer,
Larry Trocha

Well, this wraps it up for this newsletter. I hope you liked it.

Until next time, have fun training your horse.

Larry Trocha
Larry Trocha

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  1. Gwen says

    I have a guilty horse,he is 8years old,I have him for 3 years now,he is very nice horse,his name is Big Boy,he is very strong horse,he is mix of Percheron Arabe and Other I don’t remember.Its probleme is he bully my husband,they love each other,but BB bully him for any reason with its head,when my husband try to put its halter,when he works beside him,some time its refuse to step,forward.He had been very well trained for pulling wagon,its first owners were Amish,they traine him for pulling wagon,the seconde owner had him for 2 years riding in the Montaigne,the third owner for pony ride for few month before my husband and me bought it.I try to correct its attitude,he is some time spooky,he freak out for nothing,take off when he want too,stop walking if he deside not too.when I want to exercise him in the arena he does not listen well.I need to retrained him.I use a lot my voice and some I have to yield at him and I don’t like,it’s likes that he can bound with me,he is very strong and me,I m not very young and I not power like I use to be when I was young.I need to go back to ride,but my horse it’s not behave.Won’t you mind to give me some advice,I need it very serioucely.Thank you if you read my comment.

    • LarryTrocha says

      Hi Gwen,
      What your horse is doing is called “A LACK OF RESPECT”.

      And yes, it leads to all kinds of bad behavior issues.

      On this webpage, a solution is offered to fix your horse’s behavior problems.
      Yet, you don’t take advantage of it.

      Instead of purchasing the training video course, you seem to prefer some simple “TIPS”.

      Let me caution you… Tips aren’t going to solve your problem. That way of thinking is only going to get you injured or worse.

      You need a proven and thorough plan of action.

      That proven plan of action has been offered to you above at a dirt-cheap price… including a 100% guarantee.

      Proven training methods that will serve you well with ANY horse you may own… either now or in the future.

      Tell me, why don’t you want to take advantage of such valuable information?

  2. Rachel says

    Hi Larry,
    My sister-in-law recently got a 10 year old horse. She has had her for a few weeks and this horse was tame and placid when she arrived. This is also her third home. Now she doesn’t co-operate, tries to turn her butt, pees at my sister-in-law,and is all round being a moody asshat. My sister-in-law is becoming afraid of her and it isn’t helping the situation. We thought that maybe the horse is being moody as a result of hormonal (pms) like issues. My sister-in-law is also a highly emotional person and worries the horse senses this. She has a lot of dogs and the horse loves the pups but is loosing respect fast for her human. When my sister-in-law shows dominance over the dogs the horse seems to be impressed, but still won’t budge. It’s not critically dangerous yet, but I sure don’t want to see it get that way. She doesn’t want to whip the horse at this time as she doesn’t know if she can do that. Any advice you may have would be greatly appreciated. Is it best to go right to the dominant and respect demanding tactics that involve physical methods? Or are there any other tactics to be tried at this time? The horse does not bite or snarl, just acts pushy and pissed off.

    • LarryTrocha says

      Hi Rachel,
      After reading the above article, I’m really surprised you left this comment.
      Did the article not address your sister’s problem well enough?

      Bottom line… she’s going to be injured by her horse if she doesn’t take action… and get an education about horse nature.

      You are asking me to give you some “Tips”.
      Well, tips aren’t going to be enough. Not by a long shot. And the tips I’d give you are already listed in the article.

      I offered the obvious solution at the bottom of the article. It’s an online training video course titled, Groom, Saddle, Ride & Fix Bad Behavior.

  3. Georgina says

    I have a recently got a new horse and he has no respect and will not behave he is Bargy and head buts dispite me telling him off and trying to push him away but he will still completely slam me into the stable walls n crush me against the door nothing I do or try seems to be working do you have any advise for me….. Please n thank you in advanced x

  4. Alyce says

    I’m training a 3 yo for cutting. Everything is going well until the other day some of the herd of cattle were mounting each other like cows do, my 3 yo saw this and now gets scared of the cattle when we go into the herd. Have you ever heard of this ? This filly is very well bred , she is a grand daughter of Shakin Flo top & bottom . And every horse on here pedigree has won cutting $ Thx

    • LarryTrocha says

      Hi Alyce,
      Yes, this is a common problem.
      Most trainers, myself included, like a horse that is a little scared of a cow.
      However, you need to manage it and build the horse’s confidence.
      If you haven’t check out my online videos about working cattle, you should.
      They could really help you.

      Also, since she is a close ascendent of Shakin Flo, don’t hesitate to contact Sandy Bonnelli for help.

      Good luck

  5. C.Brown says

    Larry –

    My question is in regards to remaining confident while riding. Some people just have a natural ability to ride anything and go anywhere on a horse, I wouldn’t say I am one of those people. I am confident in my abilities but can get a little nervous/timid when riding by myself. Which I’m sure my horse can sense. Looking for any tips and suggestions for keeping calm and confident.

    Thank you.

    • LarryTrocha says

      Hi C.
      The solution to your problem is located in the online training video listed on this page.
      I highly suggest you check it out.

      The answer to gaining confidence, really isn’t that difficult.

      Let me ask you a question…
      If you knew how to totally control a horse in ANY situation, would that help make you a more confident rider?

      Larry T

  6. vickie evans says

    Hi Larry, Suggestion please. My 24-year old gelding quarter horse is trained well but he tries to pull the reins out of my hands. I ride with loose reins and use a Myler snaffle bit. Is this a bit issue? I have read your comments on using the mildest bit possible. Thank you.

    • LarryTrocha says

      Hi Vickie,
      Yours is the kind of comment that drives me crazy.

      #1. Your horse is NOT well trained or he wouldn’t be doing that.
      #2. You totally mis-read what I wrote about bits. I said to use the mildest bit possible that will GET THE JOB DONE… not the mildest bit possible that will make the horse totally ignore the rider’s hands.

      I know you mean well but jeez.

  7. Marnix says

    Hi Larry, first I want to thank you to share your knowledge with us!

    I have a gelding by 5 years, this is a fantastic horse, its stops are perfect, the spins are incredible, the circles are outstanding, we do together a 71-72!

    Now do you think, what can I do?

    Though Larry, my horse does all this if I can keep him focused!
    If we are driving around him he has seen everything happened!
    generally I can get about it, but it happened that his concentration completely gone and I was forced to leave the piste, and this I find so sad, because I come back in the paddock and he does everything perfect!

    Do you recognize this problem?

    Thanks Marnix

    Ps sorry for my bad englisch,because i am not englisch spoken !

  8. Ludmilla says

    I rescued a young male and have a minimum of time to spend with him. Have impression horses don’t retain their “lessons ” unless you reinforce regularly. I was able to get him to back up, if only by increments! now I have to back up and charge at him to get him out of my space. I think he wants someone to play with. He’s not been gelded so maybe he’s flirting. At the moment, he’s made my poor dog the object of his affection.
    I understand that the Arabs don’t geld their horses and I wonder if it’s possible to keep an ungelded horse.
    I don’t necessarily want to ride him…maybe i’ll try to bring some logs out of the bush, about all.

    Thanks – I’ll do as you say.

  9. Linda says

    Hindsight is 20/20. I had a horse who became dominate and I just couldn’t get over him. I did have your spin tape (still do) but maybe if I had used your methods or at least tried them a little more, I would still have had that horse (Quarter). My problem with him was that he would attack my husband if he went to the pasture. I now have a submissive 20+ retired roping gelding that I get along great with. I have used some of your methods on him and they work. And I totally agree with this newsletter. I got hurt with my dominate horse…..not fun. And yes, I tried to whomp the bejeez
    us out of him but I guess I didn’t whomp hard enough.

  10. Margaret Hart says

    Dear Larry
    I am very impressed with your teaching methods and sue of media to reach students.
    I have been riding most of my life but have not been highly competitive. I just enjoy good horsemanship. However in saying that I am having cutting lessons on a trained cutting horse at present which is fun and challenging.

    However my question is about another horse I ride who tries hard for me but lacks forward impulsion. My question is about stopping. She has always responded to my seat immediately to stop but has a bad habit of stopping on her front end. I have been following your DVD on the Stop, however we still have the issue of stopping on the front end. Would you suggest a German martingale to help with the head position or do I just keep relaxing my body ,legs off pockets on, setting the bit then rein /release x 3?

    I look forward to your reply.
    Yours sincerely
    Margaret Hart

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